I was thinking about what kind of editorial I should do for Zombie week and that is when I remembered I started up Sensei no Kyoushitsu (Teacher’s Classroom) a long time ago and haven’t posted any informational guides since then. That is why it struck me,  why not let others know the best way to kill zombies? After all, I am a Zombie killing fiend. I’ve racked up thousands of kills off of the various Zombie games I have played in the past and if that doesn’t make me an expert, than what will?

Even if the Zombie looks like a popular Korean star, don't be fooled.. Go for the head.

Obviously the best course of action is to strike the head of a Zombie with a tremendous amount of force. However, what you might not know is what would make a good weapon. Nothing is worse than to walk up to a Zombie striking them in the head only to find out that the weapon you chose is inadequate. That is why I will recommend to you the best items that not only have substantial power, but also have great durability.

  • Metal Baseball Bat
  • Chain Saw
  • Piece of Rebar
  • 2×4
  • Machete
  • Hedge Trimmers

The key in a good baseball bat is to make sure it is metal. The wooden bats don’t last as long and they have a tendency to break at the base of the bat. Chain Saws are extremely effective, but remember they require lots of gas and you have to exercise restraint when using it or you are labile to injure or inflict death upon yourself. A piece of rebar is as good as it gets. The bar itself is harden steel, which makes it a very durable weapon. It is best to find one with a chunk of cement on it so you can use it as a mace, however be forewarn it is heavy and can slow you down. 2×4 is a solid piece of wood that offers great clubbing ability. If you hammer in a few nails you get a very effective weapon, but be careful Zombies might get stuck in your weapon. A machete is a very good knife, however make sure to sharpen it after every mission or the blade will dull quickly. Hedge Trimmers.. Well, they are a hell of a lot of fun to use! Enjoy yourself when wielding them.


Tallahassee has the right idea here.

If you lack the physical ability to strike a deadly blow to a Zombie, there are other alternative weapons that prove to be not only effective, but useful if you don’t want to get too close to the zombies:

  • Nail Gun
  • Bowling Ball
  • Fat PS3
  • SUV

A nail gun offers a practical solution if you don’t have a gun lying around the house. It can hold a lot of ammo and can prove deadly really quickly. Just make sure you have enough gas to power it. A bowling ball offers two options to use. First you can throw it at the Zombie, but more effectively, you can bowl it a crowd Zombies. Zombies have poor balance and with one throw you can watch an entire horde of Zombies fall to the ground giving you the opportunity to run. You might be wondering, “Why a Fat PS3?!” Well the answer is simple.. The Fat PS3 is one of the most volatile item out there. It is big enough to cause massive head trauma to a Zombie rendering it completely immobile. Just watch out, you only have one shot at it, so make it count! When it comes to running over Zombies, the best most practical option you have is an SUV. Using a small sedan just won’t cut it and hummers use a lot of gas, which makes the SUV a useful tool. Trucks are no good. It won’t do you any good if Zombies climb into the bed of the truck!

The Fat PS3 also makes a great shield when you are dealing with the pesky Chainsaw wielding Zombies.

These are the most practical ways you can kill a Zombie. Of course if you have a gun that is your first line of defense, but once you run out of ammo then you are going to need to find an alternative solution and that is what this guide is for. I wish you the best of luck and I promise that if I find your corpse wondering the wastelands, I’ll make sure to kill for good this time.